A heavy strain tugs on every word in your voice.
A tired soul, weary from the long journey.
Your eyes paint a picture of deep sorrow.
It takes all of you to hold on.
I can feel the pain in every breath,
A secret hidden from all our eyes.
Only you know the truth.
You cling to the burden, you're carrying a heavy load.
A man in the past, a broken friendship,
And lies that fill your heart and mind.
Lost to you now is your deep value,
Placed and sought in all the wrong places.
War torn is your story,
A battle field like no soldier has ever seen.
Deep in the steel cage of your heart,
Is a broken bleeding infant, ready to be held once again.
Growing colder not because of what you've done,
But rather the lies that haunt your every step.
Little whispers in the darkness,
This time it's too big to forgive.
Shrouded in storms scarier than booming thunder,
More dangerous than violent lightening strikes.
Your words bring fear into my gut.
You fall on my heart with ache and worry.
My heart cries like a cold winters rain,
Thinking of the shit you've had to endure.
In you I see so much beauty,
It's simply hidden beneath those scars.
I do not have wise words,
Nuggets of advice to carry you through.
I do have elephant ears,
Your pain and sorrow has been heard.
I do not have an answer,
A way to mend all your nasty wounds,
But I am comfortable sitting in the mess,
To endure the horrid and the absurd.
I cannot promise you happiness,
I cannot promise an easier day.
I cannot promise things will change....
But I can promise you this.
You are a sacred, beloved daughter.
Your value reaches beyond the depths of the sea.
Precious is your very life.
With each heavy, wheezing breath, you are incredibly blessed.
Though it may not feel like it now,
Some day you will indeed be rescued.
Not by a man, a friend, a moment, an event...
But by a burning spirit deep within yourself.
You are strong, built to endure the long race.
Though your muscles ache and nothing is left,
Deep within you possess a way.
You can and will see the sunrise again.
Grateful am I for the day you were born,
For every little step you take.
Joyful am I when I'm in your presence,
You can make my days a little bit brighter.
Your feet are heavy as they walk across my heart,
Pushing me to my knees and on my face.
I beg and plead on your behalf,
And in this I have faith.
You are so much more than what people tell you,
You mean so much more than you could think or know.
Tomorrow is a brand new day,
And for you, this is what I pray.
I pray you feel the warm sun rays beaming on your skin.
I pray you feel the huge embrace, strong arms which will never let you go.
I pray you feel the cool drink on your cracked, dry, lips.
I pray you feel the endless love pouring over you.
You wear a purple robe of royalty,
You sit on an immaculate thrown.
Do not let any peasant tell you otherwise.
You are a queen.
So I leave you with this...
You are a mountain, a solid foundation not to be moved.
You are a delicate flower in a flourishing valley.
Liars sit like weeds and bushes trying to kill you at the roots,
But these evil little murderers can be pruned.
You sit in filth up to your neck,
But you yourself are a crown jewel.
While you feel you are going to drown,
You are strapped with an unseen life vest.
The grass may be dry and dead
Wildfires raging on the horizon.
Though the skies seem so clear,
A life giving rain is sure to come.
You are never alone, your burden is not only yours to bare.
Though I am human and will sometimes fail,
I'll do my best to always be there.
And though He may feel absent,
You always have a greater Father who truly and deeply cares.
Stay rooted in your precious value.
Dig deep and continue on.
Listen to the growing voice repeating.
I love you...you are strong!!!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
An Achy Wondering Heart...
It can be so hard to be present
To focus on what's at hand,
When little pieces of my heart,
Are scattered all across the land.
From mountain peaks to valleys low,
In the desert and in the snow.
In the sky and across the seas,
To people and places far beyond my reach.
Sorting through memories from the past,
Little legends that continue to last.
Dreaming of what could be,
If you were still here with me.
To the future I begin to look,
To all the new chapters to add to my book.
My mind begins to aimlessly wonder,
So much through which to sift and ponder.
If only your voice could intertwine with mine,
If only we could get trapped in time.
If only you stood right by my side,
If only we could be together for this ride.
I miss your smiles, I miss your eyes,
I miss the laughter, I miss the cries.
I miss your wisdom and your thoughts,
I miss the change we eagerly sought.
There's so much to love, to be happy with here.
So many people to whom I should draw near
And yet I feel a little bit distant,
So hard to stay in this very instant.
With so many friends so far away,
With deep connections from yesterday.
All the people I love so much,
All the people by whom my life has been touched.
My heart longs to be with you,
For long nights that lead to morning dew.
To give you a hug, to see your face,
To have you by me as we run this race.
In my heart there's always a space,
For my beloved friends all over the place.
It can be so hard to be present
To focus on what's at hand,
When little pieces of my heart,
Are scattered all across the land.
From mountain peaks to valleys low,
In the desert and in the snow.
In the sky and across the seas,
To people and places far beyond my reach.
To focus on what's at hand,
When little pieces of my heart,
Are scattered all across the land.
From mountain peaks to valleys low,
In the desert and in the snow.
In the sky and across the seas,
To people and places far beyond my reach.
Sorting through memories from the past,
Little legends that continue to last.
Dreaming of what could be,
If you were still here with me.
To the future I begin to look,
To all the new chapters to add to my book.
My mind begins to aimlessly wonder,
So much through which to sift and ponder.
If only your voice could intertwine with mine,
If only we could get trapped in time.
If only you stood right by my side,
If only we could be together for this ride.
I miss your smiles, I miss your eyes,
I miss the laughter, I miss the cries.
I miss your wisdom and your thoughts,
I miss the change we eagerly sought.
There's so much to love, to be happy with here.
So many people to whom I should draw near
And yet I feel a little bit distant,
So hard to stay in this very instant.
With so many friends so far away,
With deep connections from yesterday.
All the people I love so much,
All the people by whom my life has been touched.
My heart longs to be with you,
For long nights that lead to morning dew.
To give you a hug, to see your face,
To have you by me as we run this race.
In my heart there's always a space,
For my beloved friends all over the place.
It can be so hard to be present
To focus on what's at hand,
When little pieces of my heart,
Are scattered all across the land.
From mountain peaks to valleys low,
In the desert and in the snow.
In the sky and across the seas,
To people and places far beyond my reach.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Radical Grace...
Is every life not sacred?
Is there any soul so lost we should condemn it to Hell?
If you were to strip us all down naked,
Would we not all be deserving of condemning as well?
Is there such thing as a righteous kill?
A man so lost he needs to die.
Do we believe it is in His will,
To place a man in his death bed to quietly lie?
Is there any son whose death we hear
That shouldn't hurt at least a tad
A daughter who shouldn't shed a tear
For the loss of her dad?
It's easy to judge a "horrid" man
But are they evil to the core?
Think of the most demonic person you can
Is there a deep brokenness that we ignore?
We point the finger at lack of innocence,
But is innocent something any of us are?
Is there one of whom we should dispense,
What does it mean to have gone too far?
We sing these songs of infinite grace,
Grace which saves a "wretch like me."
But is there such an infamous face,
That grace is not great enough to cover he?
While justice is high in our list of desires,
Something we desperately want to see.
Will we let justice be a raging fire,
That burns away the chance for mercy?
These questions may be a little extreme
Challenging and difficult for sure.
There are people so twisted it seems,
That they are past the point of a cure.
But do we question the greatest power of all?
Stronger than our human flesh.
The one who turned the murderer into Paul,
Can take any life and start it fresh.
A place in Hell is for God to judge,
Are we to cause their judgement day?
Love we are rooted in, called not to budge,
Are we willing to radically live in this way?
I do not want to minimize deep pain and heavy strife,
To allow the guilty off the hook.
I just want to remind us the value of every life,
For everyone's a lost, beloved child
of the ultimate author of the Holy Book.
Is there any soul so lost we should condemn it to Hell?
If you were to strip us all down naked,
Would we not all be deserving of condemning as well?
Is there such thing as a righteous kill?
A man so lost he needs to die.
Do we believe it is in His will,
To place a man in his death bed to quietly lie?
Is there any son whose death we hear
That shouldn't hurt at least a tad
A daughter who shouldn't shed a tear
For the loss of her dad?
It's easy to judge a "horrid" man
But are they evil to the core?
Think of the most demonic person you can
Is there a deep brokenness that we ignore?
We point the finger at lack of innocence,
But is innocent something any of us are?
Is there one of whom we should dispense,
What does it mean to have gone too far?
We sing these songs of infinite grace,
Grace which saves a "wretch like me."
But is there such an infamous face,
That grace is not great enough to cover he?
While justice is high in our list of desires,
Something we desperately want to see.
Will we let justice be a raging fire,
That burns away the chance for mercy?
These questions may be a little extreme
Challenging and difficult for sure.
There are people so twisted it seems,
That they are past the point of a cure.
But do we question the greatest power of all?
Stronger than our human flesh.
The one who turned the murderer into Paul,
Can take any life and start it fresh.
A place in Hell is for God to judge,
Are we to cause their judgement day?
Love we are rooted in, called not to budge,
Are we willing to radically live in this way?
I do not want to minimize deep pain and heavy strife,
To allow the guilty off the hook.
I just want to remind us the value of every life,
For everyone's a lost, beloved child
of the ultimate author of the Holy Book.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Against the Grain...
(Written in the waiting room of a hospital Spring 2006)
The sun rises in the East and sets in the West,
The sky is blue and grass green
And this day, it seems just like the rest.
But if for second you took your head out of
your ass and looked around you would see
not everything is as it seems.
For just like you, the world is holding everything in
so "society" won't be upset.
To get by on this ride we call life,
you best be flyin' high,
or just don't fly at all.
Life is too short to waste time in tears,
in sorrow over a loss, over a short coming, misfortune, or a mistake....
too often we see a teen dead on the news,
so we should live life in haste...right?
A man, sits on a bench in tears....weak,
A girl holds a fist full of tissue....typical
Suck it up...the motto of life....
As you walk through the halls, through work or
down the street, you put on a cheesy grin and
smile at the rows of teeth, covering the pain.
But then, someting catches your eye...
A girl...sobbing...in the arms of a few close by...
And you think what is going on...
Scratch beneath the surface of anyone
next to you and you will witness pain, sorrow,
confusion, brokenness....a lost heart.
A guy cracks a cheesy sex joke, while inside
all he wants is the love, the warm touch of a friend...
The girl sitting next to you, in tears thinking
of her brother....laying in a box in the ground...
Or the empty chair at the front of the class,
the owner sitting in their room with a blade to their
wrist because they can't take it any longer...
Yet if you ask...all you hear is "good, fine, couldnt be better..."
Society has put a smiling stamp on the face of the world...
when it's heart is ashes, steel, and rock.
So when you see a smiling face don't be
too quick to judge, for this person may be just
like the rest, wearing a smile on their face, and
keeping their heart far from their sleeve...
For once in your life stop thinking of yourselves,
and taking life at cover price..
The boy cracking jokes, just wants attention,
wants to fit in...
The girl wants someone for once not take life for granted...
And the kid, holding the blade, just wants someone to care, and to be willing to stop worrying about themselves and lend an ear
So as you walk through life carry yourself
in a way society won't accept...
and give a shit about others
Tomorrow you may be crying, you may be making jokes, or holding the blade to your wrist...and your going to want someone to give a shit about you....
The sun rises in the East and sets in the West,
The sky is blue and the grass green,
But today, today doesn't have to be like the rest....
The sun rises in the East and sets in the West,
The sky is blue and grass green
And this day, it seems just like the rest.
But if for second you took your head out of
your ass and looked around you would see
not everything is as it seems.
For just like you, the world is holding everything in
so "society" won't be upset.
To get by on this ride we call life,
you best be flyin' high,
or just don't fly at all.
Life is too short to waste time in tears,
in sorrow over a loss, over a short coming, misfortune, or a mistake....
too often we see a teen dead on the news,
so we should live life in haste...right?
A man, sits on a bench in tears....weak,
A girl holds a fist full of tissue....typical
Suck it up...the motto of life....
As you walk through the halls, through work or
down the street, you put on a cheesy grin and
smile at the rows of teeth, covering the pain.
But then, someting catches your eye...
A girl...sobbing...in the arms of a few close by...
And you think what is going on...
Scratch beneath the surface of anyone
next to you and you will witness pain, sorrow,
confusion, brokenness....a lost heart.
A guy cracks a cheesy sex joke, while inside
all he wants is the love, the warm touch of a friend...
The girl sitting next to you, in tears thinking
of her brother....laying in a box in the ground...
Or the empty chair at the front of the class,
the owner sitting in their room with a blade to their
wrist because they can't take it any longer...
Yet if you ask...all you hear is "good, fine, couldnt be better..."
Society has put a smiling stamp on the face of the world...
when it's heart is ashes, steel, and rock.
So when you see a smiling face don't be
too quick to judge, for this person may be just
like the rest, wearing a smile on their face, and
keeping their heart far from their sleeve...
For once in your life stop thinking of yourselves,
and taking life at cover price..
The boy cracking jokes, just wants attention,
wants to fit in...
The girl wants someone for once not take life for granted...
And the kid, holding the blade, just wants someone to care, and to be willing to stop worrying about themselves and lend an ear
So as you walk through life carry yourself
in a way society won't accept...
and give a shit about others
Tomorrow you may be crying, you may be making jokes, or holding the blade to your wrist...and your going to want someone to give a shit about you....
The sun rises in the East and sets in the West,
The sky is blue and the grass green,
But today, today doesn't have to be like the rest....
Cry for Help...
(Written either Junior or Senior year of high school, can't remember which)
Hello.....? Are you there.....?
I'm ready to talk
I'm willing to hear
I have a lot of questions to ask
I don't really expect any answers
I never really got them in the past
I'm really broken
And really confused
I have a lot of scars
I've been banged up and bruised
And so I come to you
Healer of those in pain
I come to you
The one who put blood in my veins
I come to you
The one who can fix what's wrong
Because I'm getting pretty tired
Of singing all the sad songs
I come to you
I got no where else to turn
I realize there's a lot
That I still have to learn
And it's about time
I break down my walls
And watch as my barrier
Crumbles and falls
I'm gonna be real
I been pretty hurt
It's time to get busy
It's time to do dirt
I'm sick of the heartache
I'm sick of the crying
I'm sick of thinking
The only escape is dying
I need you to do
Some dirty work
Cuz the devil
Is on the lerk
He's feeding me lies
He's breaking me down
He's trying to pull me
Away from your crown
I want to be like a kid
And stare in awe at everything i see
I want to be like a child
And run and shout with glee
I want a taste
Of what you got in store for me
Cuz after all this shit
I know it's gonna taste sweet
I know the only place to turn is to you
So I bring all my broken pieces
And in my life ask you to be the glue
Hello.....? Are you there.....?
I'm ready to talk
I'm willing to hear
I have a lot of questions to ask
I don't really expect any answers
I never really got them in the past
I'm really broken
And really confused
I have a lot of scars
I've been banged up and bruised
And so I come to you
Healer of those in pain
I come to you
The one who put blood in my veins
I come to you
The one who can fix what's wrong
Because I'm getting pretty tired
Of singing all the sad songs
I come to you
I got no where else to turn
I realize there's a lot
That I still have to learn
And it's about time
I break down my walls
And watch as my barrier
Crumbles and falls
I'm gonna be real
I been pretty hurt
It's time to get busy
It's time to do dirt
I'm sick of the heartache
I'm sick of the crying
I'm sick of thinking
The only escape is dying
I need you to do
Some dirty work
Cuz the devil
Is on the lerk
He's feeding me lies
He's breaking me down
He's trying to pull me
Away from your crown
I want to be like a kid
And stare in awe at everything i see
I want to be like a child
And run and shout with glee
I want a taste
Of what you got in store for me
Cuz after all this shit
I know it's gonna taste sweet
I know the only place to turn is to you
So I bring all my broken pieces
And in my life ask you to be the glue
The Simple Life...
(This was written on September 29, 2008)
The night grows quite and all is still
The world is calm and peaceful
And yet, restlessness…
Life’s not so simple anymore.
The hustle and bustle provide sanity
People offer something to occupy the mind
It’s the moments when I’m alone…
Life’s not so simple anymore.
Miles away from those who know
And in the midst of those who don't understand
Alone in a crowd….
Life’s not so simple anymore.
No more Crayola
Or Chucky Cheese
The times of cooties are long since passed…
Life’s not so simple anymore.
When all is silent
And company no longer exists
Pain creeps back in…
Life’s not so simple anymore…
No words can remove the hurt that’s happened
God’s plan doesn’t always cover the grief
When every bone is filled with sorrow…
Life’s not so simple anymore.
The world moves on without me
A void with left in my heart
Something is missing…
Life’s not so simple anymore.
Brokenness is a common theme
Sadness has long overstayed its welcome
Wounds constantly feel exposed…
Life’s not so simple anymore.
Confusion floods the spirit
Uncertainty with every breath
Nothing is guaranteed…
Life’s not so simple anymore.
Life’s not so simple anymore.
The night grows quite and all is still
The world is calm and peaceful
And yet, restlessness…
Life’s not so simple anymore.
The hustle and bustle provide sanity
People offer something to occupy the mind
It’s the moments when I’m alone…
Life’s not so simple anymore.
Miles away from those who know
And in the midst of those who don't understand
Alone in a crowd….
Life’s not so simple anymore.
No more Crayola
Or Chucky Cheese
The times of cooties are long since passed…
Life’s not so simple anymore.
When all is silent
And company no longer exists
Pain creeps back in…
Life’s not so simple anymore…
No words can remove the hurt that’s happened
God’s plan doesn’t always cover the grief
When every bone is filled with sorrow…
Life’s not so simple anymore.
The world moves on without me
A void with left in my heart
Something is missing…
Life’s not so simple anymore.
Brokenness is a common theme
Sadness has long overstayed its welcome
Wounds constantly feel exposed…
Life’s not so simple anymore.
Confusion floods the spirit
Uncertainty with every breath
Nothing is guaranteed…
Life’s not so simple anymore.
Life’s not so simple anymore.
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